![]() ![]() It was told in minimalist fashion, with a pre-rendered cutscene at the end of each chapter. People remember the story in Diablo 2 fondly, but it was mostly an exercise in great cinematography. The problem is that nobody told the game designer. I will destroy you! But first I will bore you into submission with a brute-force exposition dump! He’s gesturing at you with his ten dollar beer and shouting, “Dude! Who cares if it’s good? Football has never been about the story! Just shut up and watch the game!” He’s a burly guy in facepaint and a team jersey. Then a guy a few seats back starts yelling at you. Every 15 minutes the game stops and you have to endure more mangled Shakespeare.Īt half time you’re talking about this with a friend, shaking your heads and wondering why the NFL went to all the trouble. The crowd either boos or sits in stony silence during these scenes, but the coaches don’t give up. Half the guys are punch drunk and can’t even remember their lines. And since the actors are football players, the acting is pretty much intolerable. Since it’s just a bunch of random scenes there’s no sense of investment or drama. Everyone is wearing mouth guards, so you can barely understand what anyone is saying. The NFL has decided they want to give the sport a bit of highbrow class, so they’re having players come out to enact random scenes from Shakespeare’s plays. ![]() ![]() All kinds of weird stuff happens in hypothetical situations. ![]()
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